Stop Talking About Your Goals (Secret) Way To Fail, Ep. 23

[00:00:00] Stand up to those who will wreck your dream and make you quit before it even has a chance of succeeding. Some people honestly don't deserve to be let in on your dreams if they don't know how to behave right by saying, you know what?

[00:00:14] If that's something that is so important to you, I might not understand it but I'm going to support you anyway. You are going to have a goal, a dream or picture of something you want to do and

[00:00:25] you tell some people about it that you think are really safe or will support you and somehow the energy gets blown right out of it like the air went out of it like a balloon. You feel deflated and lose interest in what you just felt passionate about.

[00:00:41] All it takes is just one person whose opinion you value to blow their version of your dream off of your radar. The last thing you need is bad energy being thrown on it from someone who claims to love you and care for you. Have you been there?

[00:00:57] And the reason this happens is because you haven't yet solidified your dream into every fiber of your being knowing and believing it first in yourself before it's shared out there. And today we're going to talk about how to keep your dreams private until a certain

[00:01:15] point because when you're starting to embark on a new dream, a new business, a weight loss program, entering a new relationship, a new career change. When you embark on these changes of reinventing these parts of your life, other people's dreams are not the same as yours.

[00:01:33] People close to you know your greatest weaknesses and so many times they're looking at your dream with a lens from your weaknesses and they are looking at it through their own lack of either interest or belief in themselves to be able to create something so bold.

[00:01:50] In other words, they can wreck your dream before you even get off the ground with it because they cannot see themselves doing it. No one's opinion is important except your own until and unless you're so rock solid

[00:02:04] with your new idea that no matter what anybody says it won't shake you. Great to bounce ideas off of others to help you with a new idea but it's a terrible idea to do this with unsafe people because they're dreamwreckers, people that have

[00:02:19] shown you in the past that when you brought your good ideas to them somehow they made you feel bad about them and so you stopped. These people can be guess what? Your parents, your spouse, your sisters, your brothers, your cousins or relatives and even best friends.

[00:02:38] Well meaning people mind you not realizing the disaster they just caused you inside. It's just the reason why you want to hold your dream close to your heart, to your chest in privacy for a while because energy is real.

[00:02:55] When someone secretly thinks that your dream is crazy, that you're not good enough to pull it off, that you're not enough, they don't even have to speak this out loud, thoughts are real energies that go out there so you have to be ready and strong

[00:03:09] before you let out your secret goals and dreams to anyone most especially to those closest to you and around you. What to do when someone pisses all over your dream even after you've started and you really

[00:03:21] believe in it but they refuse to support you no matter what or believe in your dream with you? Well, they're putting you in the position then where you must set a boundary. They've left you no other choice. It's this simple.

[00:03:35] In your own words however you want to say this, this is the just of what you need to tell them. I'm so sorry you don't believe that I can do this or that my dream will monetize

[00:03:47] or my dream is something you think will really come to fruition in the timetable that you have set out for my dream. Since I know you feel this way then I'm going to have to ask you to stop being involved and being invested in my dream whatsoever.

[00:04:03] So from now on this subject is going to be closed and is off the table. Think of it like politics or religion. These are touchy subjects that must be avoided when there's a high degree of conflict, right? So a lot of us just avoid it.

[00:04:15] Your dream is very important because this idea whatever it is belongs to you and you alone. It was put there by a higher source than any human can possibly know. It's yours. No person has the right to tell you it won't work just based on their own

[00:04:33] jealousy or judgmental nature or lack of interest. When someone you love refuses to believe in your dream, stand up for yourself and protect that dream. If they can't come along with you and be excited for you, no matter how much they don't understand it,

[00:04:50] for how much you believe in it, for how hard you are working toward it, then they should no longer be invited into any aspect of your dream. If you want to actually achieve that dream because this way you're allowing energy

[00:05:04] to self-sabotage before you even get it off the ground. Once you realize how tender it is, how vulnerable it is to begin something new, especially in today's challenging world,

[00:05:16] the last thing you need is bad energy being thrown on it from someone who claims to love you and care for you. No, my friends, you can't afford it no matter who they are.

[00:05:26] So start standing up for your dreams and stand up to those who will wreck your dream and make you quit before it even has a chance of succeeding. Believe in yourself, even when others don't, and cut out those people from sharing this particular dream

[00:05:41] who don't believe in it with you and choose people who do uplift you and tell you you can do this when you most need a boost of support. Isn't it sad? Because all of a sudden the people close to you that you trust and care about

[00:05:56] not believing in what you thought was a really great idea, it makes you sad and disappointed in them, doesn't it? Choose your people very carefully about whom you share your dreams until they're ready to come to fruition within you, even if they haven't happened yet.

[00:06:12] That no one's going to shake you, then you're ready to share, and I don't care if it's a mom or dad or someone you're supposed to respect who's also supposed to respect you by the way. Some of our best intended family members and friends don't support us

[00:06:25] in the way that we need them when it comes to starting something new. When I decided to sell everything I own, all my furniture is my business, my home, my boat, everything, pretty much except for a few items to embark on an RV journey

[00:06:42] across the country by myself, delivering training workshops. My mother convinced me I was crazy. She thought this was the craziest idea and you know what? I delayed my dream. I started accumulating again for another year or two

[00:07:00] after I sold my house, after I did everything and I was ready to go. But I let her convince me through her negative belief system that this was a crazy idea. She started spilling all her fears onto me. First it was judgment. You're crazy, that's a crazy idea.

[00:07:17] Why would you want to do that? Nobody does that. You're a young woman all by yourself. Who do you think you are that's going to do this? On and on and on. And then it started going over into her fears of,

[00:07:28] oh my God, well I'll worry so much about you. You can't go out on the road by yourself. How will I sleep at night? And you know, I stopped my dream for almost a couple of years and then what happened was the dream didn't go away.

[00:07:43] Like I've said before on some of my other podcasts, if a dream won't go away, you have to honor it. This is another occasion in my life when it just wouldn't leave me so I had to do it. I decided I wasn't going to tell her or anybody

[00:07:56] when I got the nerve to do it this time. I had sold pretty much everything but I did it again, whatever I had accumulating another time off it went and I'm like no, I'm doing this. I didn't tell anyone. I held it pretty close until I knew

[00:08:12] I had my motor home custom ordered. I was ready to go and no matter what anybody said to me this time, I was, they're not going to shake me. They could have all their fears, they could project all of their crap onto my dream,

[00:08:25] all they wanted by that point because I was ready. But I wasn't ready the first time and I learned a hard lesson from that. Don't share your intricate dreams, especially the dreams that do seem crazy to other people, right? Or are so foreign in their psychic makeup

[00:08:41] that they can't relate to it whatsoever. Or they know that then a million years they would never try such a thing. But because you're doing it, they, some people feel the need to bring you down. Yeah, you know, there's no time in life for this crap,

[00:08:57] especially as we get older. You're gonna do your dream, your way, when you want it and how you want it. How it, whenever you decide it's time to begin, you hold it close to you. Don't let others know who can't support you.

[00:09:11] And even if they act like they're supporting you, but they're really not, some people honestly don't deserve to be let in on your dreams. They just don't. If they don't know how to behave right by saying, you know what? If that's something that is so important to you,

[00:09:27] I might not understand it, but I'm gonna support you anyway, just because I love you. Just because you're my partner, just because you're my friend. And I don't have to understand your dream to make you feel good about your own dream.

[00:09:42] Because what is the worst thing in the world someone could do to you when you have a dream? Is tell you, you can't do it for whatever reason. It's not gonna happen. You're not smart enough. You're not gonna do it this time.

[00:09:58] You've tried before and it never worked before what makes you think it's gonna work this time. On and on and on. Don't buy into it. You hold onto that dream. Don't let anyone take that away from you and ask your loved ones to be supportive

[00:10:13] if they're not being supportive. Perhaps they just need to be reminded how important it is to you. This is The Wilder Talk Show, I'm Kate. I'll see you in the next one where we'll talk about how to develop that dream if you're not sure what you wanna do,

[00:10:26] but you know you're itching to do something a little different. Don't forget to like and subscribe and I'll see you soon.