How I changed my beliefs by confronting a Catholic Nun. Episode 30

[00:00:00] I remember feeling changed after the courage it took to get off that miracle round and go

[00:00:04] fling that door open to someone who was terrifying.

[00:00:07] And I had seen her hit children before, with paddles and make their ears bleed and

[00:00:12] noses bleed.

[00:00:13] This early encounter stuck with me and taught me that negative belief systems can be imposed

[00:00:19] upon us without our consent.

[00:00:21] This was a moment I learned I could stand up and challenge someone else when their belief

[00:00:27] was being forced upon me.

[00:00:29] The inspiration in this story should shake you up if I've done my job.

[00:00:35] Your belief is holding you back from what your heart most desires and your lack of courage

[00:00:40] is hindering you from taking action on what it is you really believe underneath that

[00:00:45] facade.

[00:00:46] And the facade is the pretending you're doing in your life right now.

[00:00:49] Perhaps you wish you had the nerve to do something about it but you don't because of fear

[00:00:53] and not wanting to change or you don't feel like improving or changing.

[00:00:57] Hi, I'm Kay Wilder and if you're new here, I'm focused on getting new, translational results

[00:01:02] that matter to you.

[00:01:04] My channel is titled for fear to flourish in everything in between and that includes

[00:01:08] teaching you how to manifest and reinvent your life by challenging fear had on with courage

[00:01:13] as your friend and mindfulness techniques in tow in order to live how you really want

[00:01:17] to live on your own terms.

[00:01:19] To set the stage with a story in this episode, I was in a Catholic school at the age of

[00:01:24] 10 with formidable nuns as teachers and I witnessed harsh treatment which is the truth

[00:01:30] of their reputation back then in those years.

[00:01:32] Yet, this story isn't about the severity of what they did, it's more of a standout

[00:01:37] moment where I had significant personal realization about belief systems and I hope

[00:01:41] this inspires you because if a 10-year-old can do this, you can do something more.

[00:01:47] So at the close of the school year at the age of 10, I was scheduled for a knee surgery

[00:01:51] that was due to a lump that had formed on my knee from a mischievous game of baseball

[00:01:56] with my brother.

[00:01:57] The doctor and my parents informed me that I was going to have to be out of school in all

[00:02:01] activities for two weeks recovery time.

[00:02:03] On Catholic school, you attended Mass every morning and church on Sundays including Sunday

[00:02:08] School.

[00:02:09] There wasn't much room for attendance issues in the Catholic School even with a good excuse.

[00:02:14] So I as a 10-year-old felt the need to go discuss this, we'll call her sister Grace so

[00:02:19] I went to discuss this with sister Grace, my home room teacher and primary authority

[00:02:23] on these matters at the school.

[00:02:25] Sister Grace was a teeny tiny woman in stature reaching only about maybe 4 foot 10 inches

[00:02:31] and she was small but very mighty.

[00:02:33] Everyone feared her and she made certain that all children knew that she had ultimate

[00:02:38] authority above everything.

[00:02:41] Considering the strict attendance policy at the school and in particular with sister

[00:02:44] Grace, I was feeling nervous about being told I was going to have to miss school and

[00:02:49] church.

[00:02:50] I felt like I needed to talk with her and my hope was gaining acceptance from her about

[00:02:54] my upcoming surgery and the rest period.

[00:02:56] I timidly knocked on her office door she allowed me to come in and take a seat.

[00:03:00] I had a solution that I felt would easily be accepted by her real problem.

[00:03:05] I was excited because I told her I had a solution even though I would not be able to attend Mass

[00:03:10] for two Sundays in a row, I would be able to watch it on television for the next

[00:03:14] two weeks so I wouldn't really miss church.

[00:03:17] And then considering I would be able to physically attend, I figured this was a no-brainer.

[00:03:22] Her response was downright frightening in a growling foreboding voice that felt almost

[00:03:28] demon-like she said, you must always go to church and waved her pointer finger back

[00:03:36] and forth while stating this.

[00:03:38] I sat back in my chair because the gravity of her words sent shivers down my spine.

[00:03:43] I felt terrifying because she was a very strong authority figure with whom dominated my

[00:03:46] school life and my education.

[00:03:48] With my voice quivering, I tried to tell her my parents' guidelines and echo the doctors'

[00:03:54] instructions too.

[00:03:56] I was explaining that it wasn't up to me and that they knew best better than me what

[00:04:00] I would need after surgery.

[00:04:01] Sister Grace repeated her decree with her finger pointing and waving again.

[00:04:06] Her voice more menacing them before she said you must always go to church.

[00:04:13] I tried one more time to reason with her and she simply repeated her mantra again with

[00:04:19] equal measure of intimidation.

[00:04:21] With a heavy heart, I ran out of there.

[00:04:23] I felt like I had adrenaline rushing through me from fear.

[00:04:27] I felt terrorized and I ran from her office sinking solace out on the playground on

[00:04:31] the merry-go-round where I could gather my thoughts.

[00:04:35] I felt defeated, confused, full of shame, fear.

[00:04:38] I didn't understand.

[00:04:40] So I went around on this merry-go-round for a while and pondered what just happened.

[00:04:47] At that instant, I was wrestling with clashing authorities as a ten-year-old and clashing

[00:04:52] ideologies.

[00:04:53] Who was the ultimate authority I was to listen to?

[00:04:57] The doctors, my parents, the nun, the church, God?

[00:05:03] I was confused.

[00:05:04] So as I went around in circles, I thought this over and over.

[00:05:08] I also knew I couldn't confide in my dad, where he would fiercely defend his pub with

[00:05:14] the nun, with unyielding determination.

[00:05:17] My dad called us kids his pubs and he was a big man who would protect us at all costs.

[00:05:22] So I kept going around on that merry-go-round alone circling.

[00:05:26] There were no other kids at the school because I had stayed after to talk to sister Grace.

[00:05:30] It felt like I was out there a very long time but it wasn't dark yet and the school was

[00:05:34] still open.

[00:05:35] I remember asking God, what should I do?

[00:05:40] And I circled and I waited.

[00:05:42] And I just put out a very heartfelt feeling of really needing an answer.

[00:05:47] It didn't take too long when out of nowhere, kind of a surge of that fast belief in myself

[00:05:55] kind of welled up.

[00:05:57] It's like I had a knowing.

[00:05:59] All I know is that I felt like I needed to go back into her office but I wasn't sure

[00:06:05] what I was going to say or what was going to happen.

[00:06:08] But I stopped the merry-go-round and stepped off and started just marching back into the

[00:06:13] school with some kind of, I don't know, energy.

[00:06:17] Like it was like a newfound stride in my walk and I went back into that school and

[00:06:23] a face sister Grace had on was steely resolved.

[00:06:27] I didn't knock on the door this time.

[00:06:29] I opened the door and went back in and flop down in the chair.

[00:06:33] And she was still sitting in a power position behind her oversized wooden dust that suddenly

[00:06:39] looked too big for her and she looked like a cold-hearted unhappy woman who wielded power

[00:06:44] and control over children for her own pleasure.

[00:06:47] And that moment I did not see her as a person of God because who would talk to a child

[00:06:51] this way?

[00:06:52] I knew the difference between right and wrong.

[00:06:54] So as I sat down uninvited, I watched her face become sort of shock filled.

[00:06:59] And I said this to her before she had a chance to say anything to me.

[00:07:02] Said to her, you are wrong.

[00:07:04] You can't take God away from me.

[00:07:06] I'm having surgery and I won't be in church.

[00:07:09] Surgery won't change God's love for me.

[00:07:11] Not being in the building of this church.

[00:07:13] That is not going to make him love me any less.

[00:07:16] You're wrong to confuse me and treat me like this and you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

[00:07:19] I have my own direct line to God.

[00:07:22] And this church does not own that in me and you can't make me come here and tell me

[00:07:26] I'll go to hell if I don't have a little hair and pain after surgery.

[00:07:31] I got up, I looked at her and I walked out and for good measure I slammed the door behind

[00:07:37] me and I walked down the hall feeling terrific.

[00:07:41] This was a moment that I learned I could stand up and challenge someone else when their

[00:07:46] belief was being forced upon me.

[00:07:50] I also realized that other ideas were pushed on me that didn't belong to me to shoulder

[00:07:54] either even some from my parents.

[00:07:56] It was like a realization from God or the universe came through me.

[00:07:59] I remember feeling changed after the courage it took to get off that miracle round and go

[00:08:04] fling that door open to someone who was terrifying.

[00:08:07] And I had seen her hit children before with paddles and make their ears bleed and noses

[00:08:12] bleed.

[00:08:13] I was afraid of her.

[00:08:14] So I realized I had to take charge of my own belief from then on and I knew that I

[00:08:19] could because I did that.

[00:08:21] The power was within me to manage my own intuition to act on what was right from wrong when somebody

[00:08:28] else was going to try to make me feel that something I knew deep down inside wasn't right.

[00:08:33] It was not only my right to stand up for it but it was my duty to myself and after that

[00:08:38] day, it kind of went that way for my parents too.

[00:08:40] I really learned a lot that day about how I was willing to get in trouble and put things

[00:08:45] on the line for right and wrong and stand up for myself and open my mouth even if it

[00:08:49] meant getting punished.

[00:08:51] In the case of sister Grace, she never approached my parents.

[00:08:55] She had met my dad before.

[00:08:57] He was a kind gentle soul but he was a man you didn't want to mess with and he would

[00:09:01] have no problems standing up to this non or the entire school system and rock the boat

[00:09:06] further.

[00:09:07] That's just who he was.

[00:09:08] Here's the thing, but ten year old can do this.

[00:09:12] As I entered adult mode, I held tightly to understanding that my beliefs were uniquely

[00:09:17] mine and not anyone else's.

[00:09:20] Because of this encounter, I learned to think for myself and question what was being placed

[00:09:25] upon me even through those early preteen years and teenage years and from then on.

[00:09:30] I began questioning things that had been told to me.

[00:09:33] Were these mine?

[00:09:34] You know my mother had scarcity, lack mentality that she placed on her kids.

[00:09:40] I did not want that.

[00:09:41] I did not want to believe that way.

[00:09:43] Because I had the courage that day, my small self grew up to be a pretty courageous person.

[00:09:50] This single act of courage that challenged these concepts that didn't make sense to me,

[00:09:55] I adopted the attitude that I can change anything if I want it bad enough.

[00:10:00] This firsthand knowledge was proof that what a belief does to you when it doesn't feel

[00:10:04] right and that you have the right to challenge it at any time at any age.

[00:10:09] I learned from this little act that day that I had the courage reserves in my vault,

[00:10:13] giving me the energy to confront that none.

[00:10:16] If I could do it at age 10, I knew I could do anything in the future.

[00:10:19] This early encounter stuck with me and taught me that negative belief systems can be imposed

[00:10:26] upon us without our consent.

[00:10:28] If they go unchallenged, they will remain a part of your subconscious mind until the day

[00:10:32] you die unless you stop them in change.

[00:10:35] You will stay that safe for your whole lifetime.

[00:10:38] So as an adult, it's up to each of us to discern now what resonates with our values and

[00:10:43] discard what doesn't in change and shift and get better.

[00:10:47] Are we carrying down because it was simply taught to us?

[00:10:49] Life offers us the opportunity to change and update that which no longer fits.

[00:10:54] After that school year I made the decision that Catholicism was not for me.

[00:10:59] And I would need to explore and broaden my spiritual knowledge and awareness and learn what

[00:11:05] was right for me.

[00:11:07] My mom has remained a devout Catholic even though I fundamentally disagree with the shame

[00:11:12] and blame part of that religion that I experienced, you can take action on any belief that you

[00:11:19] have no matter who gave it to you.

[00:11:22] Limiting beliefs are not good so ask yourself now.

[00:11:25] Have you ever taken a moment to reflect on your beliefs?

[00:11:27] Really write them down about each different area of your life?

[00:11:31] Have you honestly questioned what you believe and is it serving you?

[00:11:35] Was it put there by somebody else?

[00:11:38] And when you were young, it didn't feel that you had the choice in the matter.

[00:11:41] Are you unknowingly bolstering those beliefs by vehemently defending them despite never

[00:11:48] giving them a second thought or consideration?

[00:11:51] Things like I follow in my dad's quick steps.

[00:11:54] It's how I was raised when he doesn't grow on trees.

[00:11:57] Eat all your food because they're starving children and Ethiopia.

[00:12:00] Never understood how eating my plate was going to help them but okay.

[00:12:04] These particular beliefs were imparted upon you just not imply it must stay with you indefinitely.

[00:12:09] So I tell you this story today because the key is to change is being willing to free yourself

[00:12:16] to become who you are and how you can express yourself in this world and what beliefs are

[00:12:21] stopping you.

[00:12:22] I'm creating a special download for you for free, just for you my friend that you can privately

[00:12:28] go ahead and take a look at your beliefs.

[00:12:30] I want to help you get past where you are right now that's still holding you back because

[00:12:34] you deserve more.

[00:12:36] There is more in this world and your future self is waiting for you to clear the way so

[00:12:40] it could come into your reality.

[00:12:43] So download that free PDF that'll be changing your limiting beliefs right now today and

[00:12:47] you will see things change, I promise you once you take these steps.

[00:12:51] Everything is possible for you.

[00:12:53] Watch the next episode on manifesting money that continues on with these belief systems

[00:12:58] and the next steps.

[00:12:59] I told you this story because I hope you know that if a 10-year-old can be this courageous,

[00:13:04] you can be courageous too and take a look at what might be holding you back today.

[00:13:09] I thank you for subscribing and I look forward to your personal comment today.